POOR ASS PARENTING

Talk about a book, just finished one called, While They Slept. I read the whole thing in one sitting. It is gruesome in some ways: in the mid eighties I think, this teenager killed his Dad and Mom and little sister, only leaving an older sister still alive. He beat them to death with a baseball bat. Sounds great, eh? Well, what the book is about is not only that event but everything that led up to it; the sorry, sorry parents, the abuse, the incest sorts of stuff; and, kids attempting to survive in that environment.

But, it is also about the writer who did this story. What were her motivations? What was she out for? Her interpretation. And, a remarkable thing is that the oldest, Jody, a daughter, has reinvented herself, educated, now has a high position in D. C., I think; but, she cooperated in the writing of the book. Absolutely a page turner and intriguing.

What amazed me is how many people these kids involved along the way to get help; teachers, social workers, etc.; all dropped the ball, some of them so blatant that it is simply astonishing. What I came away with is the idea that society is so at fault, especially our American culture and the way we handle our view of not getting involved. Here these kids have bruises, etc. and it is as though they are invisible. Amazing.

Two movies I've seen recently echo the same sorts of themes, yet not the violence: poor parenting in particular. Savages is about a sister and brother who are somewhat dysfunctional, to use that overused word, but appropriate here: they are surviving mostly well but with all sorts of issues--the older son, a college professor, the sister, a would be playwright. Laura Linney and Phllip Seymour Hoffman, probably close to the top if not the top in their skills, are the brother and sister team. Great job! The tragic figure was the father as this brother and sister have to get involved to get him in a nursing home. The father has not aged well; probably an a'hole when young and worse now. Along the way, the brother and sister have trials and tribulation and in a sense, cope as best they could. And, they find some connection with each other. Although some might say, the film was oppressing and depressing. Not for me. Many lessons to learn, very pensive.

The other film is Diminised Capacity. Matthew Broderick, Virginia Madsen are former sweethearts. Story is about this family trying to figure it out, cute story. Matthew Broderick is coming out of the fog from a concussion which means he has trouble thinking. Virginia Madsen, the former girlfriend of Broderick who left their town for the big city, is seeking her own place in the world. And, at the center and somewhat of a subplot is a rare baseball card, very valuable. However, the true scene stealer is Alan Alda, who is missing a few steps. He is struggling to keep it together while knowing that he is slowly losing it. Good movie to see and discuss. We should not be afraid of these topics and as Philip Seymour Hoffman points out in Salvages, "Denial is our worst enemy." Three parachutes for these movies.